Tuesday May 23, 2000
Truth has at least 2 versions. The version that I am about to relate to you is real. In fact, I'm pretty sure that I could not make it up.

These two girls are bickering in my class yesterday. Here is a smattering of their conversation:
'Your grandma ain't got no titties!'
'How do you know?'
'She showed 'em to me. They are some saggy sacks.'
Then one of the girls came up to me and told me that the other girl had told her that 'her grandmother has no titties,' and that the girl who had uttered the offending language was a 'lesbian cause she looked at my granma's titties.'

Another child was unable to tell me which hand was her left and which was her right. This girl is in the 8th fucking grade.

Today, several kids asked me if I knew anything about a virus that comes in a blue envelope to your mailbox at home. They insisted that if I get a blue envelope that I should not open it. When pressed for the source of their information, one kid said, 'everyone knows about it - I heard it was on TV.' Where does this shit come from?

The topper comes this afternoon. I haven't had an encounter with the Creature from the Black Nastiness of Hell recently, so I guess today was my lucky number. There was supposed to be a talent show this afternoon with certain classes going. Of course, mine was not invited because the Bitch was in control of the event.

After sending more kids out of my class based on a policy within a memo that she had written to me, (misspelling my name of course) she started to yell at me from the hallway below my classroom in her typical professional manner. She wanted to know why the same kids from the other day were in the hallway again. As I look down the hallway where she is standing I see literally 30 or 40 kids running right by her, chasing other kids. These kids are not the kids from my class.
When I explained to her that the exclusion of the students was based on the memo she had written, she insisted that the hallways needed to be cleared and that I needed to use 'classroom management strategies' more effectively. As I recall, I believe my last observation indicated that I had 'excellent classroom management skills.'

The strange thing is that my kids were not subject to the strategies she suggested, because they had been put out of class for disruptive activity twenty minutes prior to this encounter, such as punching other students and singing rap songs out loud in the middle of a lesson. So I ask her if that means that I should readmit the students to disrupt 40 kids from learning. She disregards my question and basically provides lip service to her prior memo that she had written to me on this very issue. Then she runs to the school microphone and announces that 'certain teachers are unable to clear the hallways, so the talent show is cancelled.' It seemed pretty obvious to me that she was unable to clear the hallways by herself and her solution was typically draconian.

Rereading this, I realize that this is a typical encounter at Shitsville. I am so fed up with this level of crap that I pray for the day when I can get out of this school and into a real one.

Friday May 26, 2000
The school year is so close to being over that I can almost feel it. On Tuesday, I asked the principal again to review my final exam, because the first one did not meet his approval due to alleged copyright violations. Do you think that he has gotten back to me on this yet? At this point, I'm willing to just say fuck it and move on. Someone will probably notice that the kids aren't taking their finals and when that time comes, I will refer the matter back to the asshole in charge.

A very disturbing thing happened today. I heard a news report of a teacher being shot and killed by a 13 year old boy on the last day of school is heard. The news is chilling and sad. Even if you are friends with most of the kids and even if you are well liked by most of the kids, it only takes one kid to blow your head off. In the community that I teach it, guns are readily available, so I worry a bit about coming home from work in one piece. It is the kind of thing that I'm sure that other professions don't talk about; airline pilots crash landing, construction workers on beams that collapse, and teachers getting killed at school. To even acknowledge this as a potential work hazard is discomforting. It makes it much harder to go back to work on Tuesday, after the break, and not think about losing my life. In a sense, everyone in this profession is at risk.

This kid who pulled the trigger could easily be one of my kids. Is it just a mixed up 13 year old, or is it someone who should be jailed for life? The way these kids act, sometimes its hard to know the difference. Even if you know the child. Even if the child wants to be an adult but isn't. Even if the child does adult - like things. Even if…

Before you can even answer what you think should happen, try to imagine the kid who pulled the trigger as your own kid. Does that make a difference? Does that change the decision making model?

To switch gears here and get back to the weekly bullshit, just for fun, I decided to apply for the department chair position for next year. Hopefully, I would get offered another job and afterwards, be offered this position. Then I could tell Shitsville to kiss my hairy ass. Anyway, in my application letter, I wrote comments like, 'I'm sure that you will give my application careful consideration instead of summarily dismissing the notion that our department leadership is an embarrassment.' Another gem from the letter includes this statement; 'A vote for the status quo will be a clear indication of this school's unwillingness to change and acceptance of mediocrity.' At this point, I figure that I have nothing to lose, so a roll of the dice to vent a bit is both meaningful and helpful to use as a springboard for next year.

However, in another sense, the school year is nearly over. I feel as though the last two and a half weeks of school will allow me to have some sort of closure that I desperately seek. I'm sure the day will arrive in a few weeks when all of the kids are gone, the grades are turned in, and I close my door for the last time at Shitsville. I wish that day were going to be here tomorrow. Hopefully, when the toilet flushes on this year, I won't ever have to float with the Shit again.

Wednesday May 31, 2000
Monday was Memorial Day and I took Tuesday off just to round out a nice 4 day weekend. I returned to school today to find out several things. First, the graduation ceremony is tomorrow and most of the teachers will not be able to attend the party afterwards, because we have to teach the 7th grade kids during that time. Unfortunately, they do not know how to rearrange the schedule to accommodate most of us, so this pretty much sucks. Second, The food that was supposed to be ordered for the party didn't get ordered and now they want me to bring 5 gallons of fruit punch - for a party I won't even attend. I told the lady who asked me to shove it and have the cheap ass school pay for the damn punch. Third, the principal never even bothered to read my exams, handing them back to me stating, 'there is a problem.' So I took them out of the envelope and told him that in his extremely busy schedule, he probably omitted reviewing the exams, because the seal was still on the envelope. Then I suggested that if he wanted the students to take the exams, he should take time out of his schedule to review them. Now. In my presence, so that if there is any additional problem, he could tell me. Of course, there was no trouble at all with the exams. He is such a total fucking scumbag for not even bothering to read the examination. Shitsville really sucks and I'm trying to keep in mind that there are only 11 work days left this year.

Thursday June 01, 2000
Graduation day. For most of these kids, this is pretty much it. The parents come and fill up the auditorium hoping to see their child walk across the stage and hear their name called. Most of these kids will not graduate from high school. A sad but true commentary.

The ceremony is pretty nice and I was able to see an old friend, a former AP at our school who was the guest speaker. He told me that he had gotten a call from another principal asking about me and he gave a glowing recommendation. He advised me to keep looking and was a great source of encouragement. I know he understands what it means to be at Shitsville with no life preserver.

So when I come back to school, the kids go to their party and I try to get a bite to eat. The party started at 1:45, so I went to eat lunch at that time. When I got back to school around 2:05, I went to the party and the principal immediately came up to me and said, 'I've been paging you all over school; you are needed in your classroom immediately, your class is waiting.' I reminded him that my contract allows for 30 minutes of duty free lunch and he simply said, 'go to your class now, the kids are waiting.' So without budging an inch I said, 'excuse me, but I'm entitled to 30 minutes of duty free lunchtime, and I'm sure you are aware of that.' He retorted, 'I'll send someone to cover you,' but just like all of his other promises, it was broken. I'm trying not to take it too hard, because there are only 11 work days left and hopefully I'll be outta here.

In fact, I got a call from another high school today requesting an interview. This is the third call and hopefully the third time is the charm. This high school is another really good one, and may be the break I'm looking for.

In other funny news, a kid came to me today with some papers from the office. His shirt was interesting. On the front, it said, 'One Nigga That Stay Thuggin.' On the back, it said, 'If you Not City Bound, Don't be Thuggin with us.' Students began telling me stories about their families. One said, My grandmother smokes crack. Another told me their Granfather likes to fart in bed. Finally another confessed that his father drinks 5 beers a day at work out of a straw and that he asks his son to prepare the beer in the morning before the child goes to school.

I got some great email from an interested party today that kind of put things into perspective. The email suggested that if I was having such a hard time with the adults that I work with, imagine the fucked up kids that they are raising. That provides some solace, but saddens me that these fuckers have the ability to corrupt children in their own homes.