Friday September 10
The week ended on a better note and I felt a lot less stressed out about my job going into the weekend. I think that more than anything else, I was finally able, at least for a day, to separate myself from the head trips that I was laying on myself. The problems that I was facing at school seem to be the ones that I'm willing to assume. Upon reflection, I believe that the difference so far between this year and last year was that I'm more willing to be worried about things because of the responsibility I think I may have as both a Team Leader and a second year teacher. I think that it may be prudent to just return to the m.o. that I had last year: It just doesn't matter, so why worry.

Sunday September 19, 1999
I have been super stressed out all week and frankly I think it is primarily due to that fucking stupid bitch administrator that we have in the 7th grade. Actually, it may be the whole fucking stinkin bunch of them, but ill just start ranting about the most obvious ones.

Last week I wrote referrals on three kids who were absolutely being pains in the ass. These referrals were predicated on the note that she sent me indicating that I should be following a discipline plan outlined by the 7th grade team. I had several questions about this plan and brought them up at our weekly curriculum meeting. When I addressed this issue, I immediately was cut off by the principal who told me to personally address these issues with the 7th grade administrator, which I promptly did. I told her that I and others had questions about this plan of which most of us had no part in shaping. She told me to address these issues with the drafters of the plan, and not to her. Dumfounded, I was not about to be put off again by her incessant desire to do nothing in her position. After all, isn't she supposed to be the one to talk to about this? And to refer me back to the drafters when clearly this is an issue that she could have resolved is pathetic and a testament to her lackadaisical approach. So then I asked her about the notion of giving detentions, which appear to be a facet of the 7th Grade discipline plan - Who exactly is responsible for issuing these I asked? She said, 'you are.' So when I told her that I have never done such a thing that it had always been generated by an administrator, she replied, 'not at the schools I've been working at - it is always the teacher and they also stay after with the children if a detention is given.' I couldn't believe my ears - if there is someone at the school who handles detentions, then why should I give up more time in the afternoon to sit with a student who has been a pain in the ass to me all day? Moreover, I was unclear about whether or not I had the power to actually issue detentions. At this point, the mousy little runty cunty bitch told me that I should have been paired up with a buddy from the 7th Grade team and this should have already been explained. However, since that person had not yet revealed themselves to me, I told her that I and others were not even aware of this. She said, well, you should go and find out who these people are. I asked her 'shouldn't it be the other way around - the buddy who was assigned by the 7th grade discipline plan drafters should be notifying me as to what is going on. She then said, 'if you care enough you will find out yourself.' I could have smacked that fucking slut right in the face. I was so outraged by her downright shitty approach to things that I vented ferociously in the teacher's lounge about her bullshit. The other teachers were shocked on two levels. First they had never seen me that way, and second, they just couldn't believe she would act so fucking stupid. So from now on I think I will just avoid this cheesy slut like I avoid the dentist.

This is all coming from the same bitch who stated 'I don't want to be the first one to call a parent.' I'm sitting here thinking, who gives a fucking shit about what you want. Your job is not based on a notion of convenience. You are an administrator, so do something, anything, but just do!

In addition, I have been really disappointed by the quality of student's work this year. These kids just don't give a flying fuck about turning in quality work. As a result, I have applied to transfer to 8 local schools. In the meantime, I will have to complete two more classes to get my 5 year certificate and 2 more to be able to become certified in the high schools. I am more stressed out than I ever have been about my job and it sucks for the wrong reasons. My next move will be to simply sit in meetings and do whatever it is they ask me to do and bring up nothing, because it just doesn't matter when you are talking to deaf motherfuckers.

Actually, in reflection, I think I am pissed because I took what I perceived to be a leadership role in this school and nothing is coming out of it; in other words, I am grossly unable to effectuate change and that's what is pissing me off.

Monday September 20, 1999
Today was a more relaxed day partially because it was a teacher workday. However I was unable to avoid Polly Prissypants today. Ms. Bitchy Ho herself actually called a parent on the telephone and had me speak to that parent as well. However, the little nasty bitch couldn't help herself and documented on the referral that I had not made parental contact. After consulting my logs, I realized that I had phoned the house and spoke to someone there, so I scratched out her comments and made my own annotations. Petty but fulfilling.

Today they made an announcement that the owner of a 'white van needs to move it from the entrance.' All of my conspiracy theories have finally become actualized.

I was fortunate enough to review some essays my kids had written today and it reinforced the whole notion of why I am doing this. Some of the essays were downright hilarious and riddled with obvious grammatical mistakes. For example, one kid wrote, 'I didn't do your homework because when I went home I had lots of homework to do including other kids' homework.' Another wrote, 'I feel like hitting someone when I don't do my homework.' Finally, the one that took the cake was 'I couldn't do my homework because my father couldn't understand it.' That's why I'm there; to get a laugh and a smile.

Thursday September 23
Yesterday was one long assed day. After school was over, we had an open house last night where parents can come and visit the teachers and see the school. There are traditionally two types of parents who come to open house: Those with real freaky personalities who speak just barely above a whisper and those who openly beat their kids in front of you. I was fortunate this year to have a large crowd - 25 out of 180 kid's parents showed up. One parent was quite vocal, "as you know February is black history month - and what are you going to have planned for that month." My reply was, 'Ma'am, at SMS, we don't wait for February to have black history moments, because especially in social studies, every teaching day is a black history day.' The woman clapped and rejoiced at my comments and said, 'ok baby, ok.'

My encounters with Bitchy McGee have gotten less climactic and more frequent. Today she brought me a student who was stressed out over not doing their homework. I told her and the student that I would extend the deadline another week and the student was relieved. Crisis avoided and positive experience with Ms. Freak Nasty chalked up.

Yesterday during a lecture on the Declaration of Independence, a child raised his hand and asked, 'Is rats have bones in 'em?' The child further explained that a friend in the other row had told him unequivocally that rats do not have bones. I replied that his response was a top ten response that would have to be noted.

Saturday September 25, 1999
The week went by pretty quickly without an incident until yesterday. A whole bunch of teachers had called in sick so normally they would get subs. In the past week, they must have gone to the graveyard and dug up some individuals, because there were some people as subs that were barely breathing. I heard one sub actually say to a student 'I'll flip you over that desk if you don't sit down.' Yesterday was a different matter entirely. Somehow, not a single sub showed up, so there were a number of classes without any substitutes whatsoever. Understanding this, I took off right at the beginning of my planning period and took a long lunch. When I returned, I came up to my classroom which is being used by another class during this time. I immediately heard a loud commotion coming from the other classroom next door. I ran out of my door to see what was going on and tons of kids were streaming out of the class going every way possible. Some were going down the staircase, some were going down the hallway, and some were just milling about. A child I recognized came up to me and said, 'It is crazy in there.' I asked her what had happened and she told me that they pushed the teacher out of the room, turned off the lights and started throwing books and trashcans around the room in the dark hitting several students. Just another sunny day at SMS. I immediately reported the incident to security and asked for an administrator to come upstairs, but slipped quietly into the bowels of Shitsville, in case someone wanted to suck me into this situation.