Friday August 18, 2000
I got some mixed news today. I found out that I would not be a team leader or the department chair at Sunnyland. However, I was told by the AP that I would be getting an additional class which would increase my salary by 12.5 percent. This is probably better news in the long run after further reflection.

Initially I took it as a personal blow not being designated as a leader in the new school. However, upon review, I think this may actually alleviate the pressure at the beginning of the year because I am going to be so new to the situation, and having leadership responsibilities means that I could be more accountable than I want to be. The strange thing is that I'm not really sure right now how this makes me feel. Should I feel violated that I was pretty much promised something but yet I didn't get it, or simply grateful that I have a new job with a bigger raise?

Monday August 21, 2000
I'm pretty much dreading returning to work tomorrow. I really have enjoyed being away from the obligation and resent the fact that I have to go back and do it all over again. Also, I'm kind of nervous about going into this new school. Change is inevitable, but humans resist it nonetheless. I can only hope that tomorrow will be a good day and not the beginning of something worse than Shitsville.

Tuesday August 22, 2000
I was so nervous this morning that I nearly sliced my finger off in a kitchen mishap just prior to leaving the house. I probably could have used a stitch or two, but I just ran out of the house instead.

When I arrived at Sunnyland, everything seemed, well, different. The place was totally organized and together. I got my room key and went into my new classroom within 20 minutes of arrival. I spent most of the morning getting the room organized and after lunch tried to get some books from the department chair. She had like 200 books in her room and I grabbed some because she had so many. She told me that all of the books were for her. I was kind of surprised and asked her if she really needed so many books. She then said that each student gets a book at this school and to take home. Now I know this may sound strange to you, but having each student with a book and to take home was unbelievable. I left the day feeling kind of strange and disjointed.

Wednesday August 23, 2000
Another planning day. I got to work a bit late and never really got on track or focused all day. A brief meeting with the AP helped sort things out and my colleague from my prior school showed up and showed me the ropes at the new school. I think the people teaching in the rooms around me are ultra clicky and I want to reserve more judgment about them until I know more. I just feel strange in this new place.

The one pervasive thing that permeates the school is how much the teachers that I have met seem to care about the quality of education the kids are getting. A primary difference from Shitsville to Sunnyland is just how much different they really are. Once the kids come in, the schools may not be much different. However, my initial view is that this may be a 'real' school and not some cartoonish version of education that Shitsville was. I can't help but think that any day, I'm going to hear the words that I have to go back to the toilet, so I'm going to do whatever it takes to hold onto this dream and reality for a while until my feet get real wet.