Thursday February 1, 2001
A new month and it seems like a fresh start as well. If there is one good thing that came with a new month is a new realization; I sure as shit don't know everything there is to know about teaching. I must rely on those who have been around the block a while to show me a few tricks now and then. Sometimes I think I need to be more open to new methodologies, and less dogmatic in my approach to teaching the kids. And less cocksure.

Where does this stream of conciousness and train of thought stem from? This morning in my eagerness to demonstrate my competence, I showed my colleagues a method I had been employing to get kids to write better essays. It was one of those things that when you are doing it, you suddenly realize just how inadequate your paradigm has been; I felt deservedly naked and like a total idiot. A colleague was very generous in her assessment and quite professional when she stated, 'I'm not sure I feel comfortable using that method.' I realized right then and there that she had something valuable to offer if I asked. I sheepishly prodded, letting down my guard of presumed expertise. She offered a better method of instruction which I immediately put into practice when I went back to class.

The thing is, that I guess we all make assessments about people and forget about the sleeping giant within. Sometimes those that are quiet are those who have the most to offer. Still water runs deep. OK, OK, I know that saying 'all of us' is kind of a cop out…I'm the one who made the assessment that maybe I knew best without ever really bothering to consider whether or not somebody else had a better idea. Thinking about last week when I tried to offer my department head a memo to cover her ass, maybe I was a little insensitive and should just lay low and not buy into the press clippings that the principal bestowed upon me last week.

I should be more humble.

But less hard on myself.

I fuck up sometimes.

Friday February 2, 2001
Yes! This week is over. I felt like shit most of the week and was pretty hard on myself yesterday, but now that the week is done, all is forgotten. I will be teaching Saturday school tomorrow, which is kind of like enrichment oriented instruction, A.K.A. remediation. However, it should be a trip to see how things work out.

I am thinking of signing up again for classes next term to go into Administration. While I am having a good time in the classroom, I think I would like to earn more money. The classes can be taken on the computer, so I think this will be a cool way to check it out.

I held a history club meeting this week and the kids decided that they wanted a yearbook picture and were willing to shell out a few dollars each to purchase the space. I had to deal with the school treasurer to set it all up. I had been warned beforehand that dealing with her was going to be a hassle, but so far things have worked out great. In fact, she told me that there was an account set up a long time ago for the History Club and that there was $140 left in the account for me to spend. I was totally stoked. This will probably fund a field trip or two or may just pay for Club T-Shirts or even some awards at the end of the year.

I have noticed that since I read the kids the riot act this week, their writing has improved tremendously. The statewide competency exams are coming up soon and I think my kids will do pretty darn well.

There is always more to say, but I'm kind of out of gas…

Monday February 5, 2001
The library was always a special place where I could lose myself and get away from the regular crap that school had to offer. Today, the tables were turned a bit, as I took my kids to the library to do 'research.' What a total fucking waste of time and a headache that was. First, the kids weren't prepared and the computers kept on breaking down. Most of the kids just ran around the room and played tag while I got bogged down with helping one kid at a time who generally had questions like, 'I don't know what to do' and the ever popular 'I can't find anything.' On top of everything, I ended up having to call a kid's parents over his behavior today. Here is how the conversation went:
'I am calling to inform you of two problems your son had today at school.'
'Yes, I'm listening…'
'First, he has done no work in my class on a consistent basis and today has kept a bunch of kids off task.'
'What else…'
'Well…'
'You said there were two problems sir.'
'Hmmm… The other problem which I think you need to ask your son about directly is a more complicated issue. Please ask him why he was sitting in the library with his pants down around his ankles.'

Conversation immediately escalates to 'Put My Child On The Phone!'

I registered for classes today and am going to take two classes towards my educational leadership certificate. I hope this is not too much to handle at one time, but I think I will enjoy stimulating my brain again with schoolwork. On the other hand, doing assignments is a hassle that I don't look forward to.