Monday, February 25, 2002
Again, the lapse in writing returns. Somehow, I must find a way to keep this thing updated more frequently. I have had some experience being an administrator again, but for the last few weeks I returned to being a classroom teacher. It is hard to maintain sanity on this emotional roller coaster of a profession, but I must continue to try.

It now appears that some of the kids have given up for the year. About 30 kids are not really even trying, but they could be passing if they just gave a little effort. After numerous parent conferences, phone calls, and discipline nothing really seems to make an impact. It would be easy for me to stop trying too, but I will continue…

Friday, May 17, 2002
I could almost duplicate my last journal entry 3 months later. Seemingly, the details of the day to day routine of the school day have become mundane. I am no longer startled by a student demonstrating how they saw a 'porno star take this big cock down her throat.' The bathroom graffiti that encourages others to 'Fuck Ms. Johnson with a ruler' barely fazes me. The parent that comes in and states, 'Just hit my son three times on the back of his head - that's what I do at home and just say he fell off the chair' doesn't even raise my eyebrow. It is clear that I have become desensitized to the daily ritual of crazed insanity at the middle school.

The strange thing is that beneath all of this chaos there are some really beautiful kids that I come in contact with each day. I still smile when I read a letter from a kid I taught last year who tells me that I made a difference…and at the end of the day, I can go home with a clear conscience knowing that I still make a difference.

That is what teaching is all about.