Wednesday, December 17, 2002
It is impossible to recap the daily dementia that accompanies being a teacher, but today is a good day to use as an example. The day begins with two parent conferences. I do most of the listening while the parents bitch about their kids. One is 'not going to have any Christmas' because he did absolutely no work for the last 5 weeks. Now his mother wants make-up work. Her son does not.

The other kid is with his mother. She is going thru a bad divorce and has mentioned this at least 7 times in the span of 3 minutes. She refers to her kid as 'Little Johnny' even though he is 6 feet tall and in the 8th grade. She asks for more help with him because she needs help. She really, really needs help. Finally the counselor leans in and tells her to get over her divorce. She explains that her man is gone and she needs to stop laying trips on her kid. The day is 14 minutes old and I have had no coffee yet.

The first period begins with an attempted suicide in class. Students tell me that a young girl who wears a Barbie jacket all day and brings cheerleading magazines to class instead of her book is trying to slit her wrists with a piece of metal and crying. I ask her what is wrong and she tells me that every time she leaves class her 'body wants to jump over the railing.' She is taken to the counselor. The day is 36 minutes old.

Coffee. Yes!

Shortly thereafter, I find out 12 of my kids have been called down to the office to be searched for weapons. These are the same kids who were smoking pot in the hallway before school last week. The day is now 1 hour and 12 minutes old.

Did I mention that I filled out 252 progress reports last week? I extended the deadline 3 times for makeup work and less than 5% of the kids took advantage of the deadline.

The afternoon comes and many kids are absent. They are skipping and sitting in the band room to rehearse for a concert. However, the lead teacher in the music program told them that they needed to report to class. Instead the kids show up over an hour late with a note saying they need to go back and rehearse. I ask the kids how many of them I have kept in class to complete class work instead of attending music class. None raise their hands.

In other news, I have completed the county's assessment program and passed it. I am now eligible to become an Assistant Principal. Last week, before my first interview, I called the Principal of Smartview Elementary to discuss the position with her. According to several other principals, she is a cocaine abuser and was demoted from the Regional office to this position. Immediately I sense that I am not going to be her bitch. I interview anyway, just for the experience and do not get chosen.

I hope that in the very near future I get out of the classroom and get an Assistant Principal's job. Hopefully that time will be sooner than later.

The funny thing is, I still really dig teaching and being around the kids. They are funny and cruel at the same time. Today a rather rotund girl was surfing the web and checking out the McDonald's web page. A student promptly told her she would not be able to get a Big Mac over the web. The big girl cried. Kids are mean. I counseled the young girl and by the end of the day she gives me a card that says, 'To the best teacher they is.'

Despite the spelling mistake, it makes my day.