I finally transferred to yet another school, FDR. At the start of the 2004 school year, I was a teacher in a gifted/magnet program at FDR. I was out in a portable away from everything and it was absolutely the perfect teaching environment. The kids were unbelievable and when I tell you that it was both effortless and spectacular at the same time, I would not be telling a lie. It was probably the best teaching experience of my life.

But I fucked it all up by becoming an Assistant Principal. I had been interviewing for an AP position for about a year. I had been a finalist 14 times. 14 motherfucking times!!! What that means is that out of the hundreds of candidates, I was one of the top 3 candidates 14 times. Each time I was the only one of my gender and race represented at the finals.

So I finally got the call right before Christmas 2003. I was told that I was going to be placed on an ‘interim’ basis in a school that I had never interviewed with. Big ass mistake right there! Pine Hill was run by a senile old bag who was clearly on the verge of the early stages of dementia. Truly, she was an embarrassment to humanity. The specific instances of her incompetence would take hours to rectify, but the beginning of the end for me there was when she asked me to falsify over a hundred student records indicating that these students had retroactively gotten counseling for behaviorial issues long before I ever became an AP at that school. I was the sole AP for a school with over 1000 kids. It was just too much fucking work to be honest and became the antithesis of education. When the job finally became open for permanent placement, I had to ‘re-interview’ for the job and I knew it was over. I didn’t even make the finals and was headed back to FDR, but I was headed back to another part of the school with a substantially similar population than I had worked with at Sunnyland and Shitsville. The kids that I loved and the job that I had finally loved was gone.

This is when things really started to suck. There were four APs at FDR. One was a Gestapo wannabe who was later removed from his job for ‘touching’ too many children. Another has become a principal but when she and I were colleagues, she let it be known that she thought I was doing a shitty job. Two others were what I would call ‘hatchet men’ and one of them, Dumbo, was actually married to the woman who used to be the AP at the Pine Hill… It was her records that needed ‘updating’ that I refused to do.

Anyway, the APs had it in their minds that I was angling for their jobs. The truth was I was really sick of the administrative path and sick of the entire school system. These fuckers just went to work on me giving me shitty teaching assignment after shitty teaching assignment and generally just harassing me all over the place. Dumbo went so far as to document that I had not kept lesson plans which were right in my folder on my desk. I knew that they were just trying to get me to leave and I was more than willing to.

Finally, in the spring of 05, I had had enough. I took a leave of absence for two years and pursued a business opportunity and just got the poison out of my system. In may of 2007 on the last day of my 2 year leave, I returned to the school system and was assigned to yet another school, CrapperCity, where I currently work.

When I returned to work at Crapper City, I was assigned to work PE for the last 30 days of the school year until a position came open in social studies. I expected one or maybe more than one to open at Crapper over the summer and basically went to work each day in shorts and a t shirt and read a book while the uberlesbo gym coach reamed the kids hard each day. She wanted no help and told me to just sit and read which I was happy to do.

So why did I return? I was in desperate need of both income and health insurance.

Anyway, so the summer is over and I report back to Crapper. They have no idea why I am there and refer me to the district office. The story fucking changed 3 times with the district but the final story was that they had ‘heard I retired’ and so didn’t place me in any of the social studies openings at Crapper. However, they did find a job for me which was an hour and a half commute on the other end of the county. I told them to shove it up their ass. The district director asked me ‘are you declining placement?’ I told her that I wasn’t declining anything but just to tell the principal down there that I would get there around 10 or 11 am or so. I was just fucking fed up and dealing with the same bureaucratic shit that made it so easy to leave the system in the first place. So the bitch offers me a compromise – sign a waiver for reading – you can stay at Crapper (a 13 minute commute) or be assigned to the long ass commute school. I said, fuck that shit – Ill sign the waiver…. And I have proceeded to teach reading at a school that is completely and utterly fucked up beyond belief.

First, they have these two ‘reading coaches’ who are not permitted to work with any students by their contract. Instead, these two assholes with the combined intelligence of a borderline retard are supposed to ‘assist’ me in teaching. After seeing their game for 2 weeks I finally said 'Well fuck that shit.' to their faces. I told them not to ever come in my room and even my kids don’t want to see their asses. They constantly talk about testing and retesting the kids who don’t give two shits about reading. These are 8th grade kids who are reading on a 4th grade level. No fucking way are they interested in reading at all, or testing each week, or anything.

As a result, I have gotten myself into hot water again with the admins who told me that it was wrong of me to behave that way. I told them that I stood by every word and if they wanted to fire me they should just go ahead and do it. They didnt and the reason is without a doubt that the need teachers who actually give a shit about what they are doing. They realize that I give a shit but Im not going to take any shit either. There is something about the freedom of that break that basically gave me the no quarter approach which has seemed to alleviate alot of internalized stress about the job. Now I just say and do whatfucking ever and have some balls and integrity which I dont think I really had before. Integrity has really been a blessing because now Im fully committed to doing things the right way instead of following some stupid ass policy for the sake of following some stupid ass policy.

Lets just face it. Im a rule breaker and not a rule follower. And... while this is maybe not the best thing, I think ultimately as long as my student's best interests are considered, I wont be losing any sleep at night.

Upon reflection, one of the things Ive realized over time is that while the system is totally fucked up and the personnel who can effectuate real change are absent, its ultimately what you do when the door is closed that matters. A whole lot less bothers me now and maybe that’s because after 10 years of this shit, I don’t have any career aspirations nor do I have any illusions that things will change. One thing is shockingly consistent – the adults have really fucked up the school system and the kids are basically the same everywhere. Yes, the kids maybe are more interested in their cell phones or mp3 players but the truth is most of them could give a rat’s ass about school. These are low income kids who are thinking about gangbanging on the street or making some hustle somewhere. Reading just isn’t in their culture or in their perception of their future.

So what has changed a bit is me. I still am demanding of my students and still want them to be somebody much better than they are now. As a result of growing up and having my own children I see the perils of parenthood and teacherhood much clearer now. Instead of being constantly disillusioned, I realize that the connections that I make with the kids is really and ultimately what they are going to get out of school cause it sure wont be some shit from a book. It is truly rewarding to see kids I have taught 8 years ago say to me, ‘hey I remember you and you gave a shit…. Im going to college, med school, I got a great job’ or whatever the fuck it is. The rest probably doesn’t matter and Im sure that even as I write that there are a billion things about the whole fucking thing that piss me off and will continue to piss me off.

Thanks for reading!