B r o k e n R e a l i t y

Friday, January 21, 2000
The long winter break is over and it still sucks to be back in school again. The time away from the 'joint' really helped me retool myself and regain a little perspective.

The whole reason that I am a teacher is to be around and help kids. However, I think that somewhere along the way, this idealistic notion of being a helper and a teacher became perverted by the vampire vultures that lurk and prey on thoughts and emotions. They have created an environment where the aura of teaching has been tarnished. There is too much focus on the FCAT tests. They have placed so much emphasis on the FCAT that the kids have no idea even what they are doing in school anymore. As an added note, the children are thoroughly unprepared for a number of portions of this test because it is impossible to cure their culturally deficient schooling in one year's time. The principal's career hangs in the balance over the outcome of the test scores, so the teachers have to shoulder his burden by documenting a mound of useless paperwork to provide evidence that the skills tested on the FCAT are being taught in the classroom.

It is midterm time. Even though I submitted my exam 10 days prior to the first day of exams, they were not run off because of alleged 'format problems' which I believe basically means that they thought they could get me to run off some tests. The official reason given to me was that the test did not have FCAT style questions and an answer grid on the test. Even though I don't teach my students the 'skills' that they need on this stupid fucking test, I was forced to attach an answer grid and come up with a non-relevant reading passage. I attached both to the test and ran them on the school's copier during my planning period because I'll be a retarded fucking monkey's uncle if I'm going to pay for copies out of my own pocket. Needless to say, the FCAT portion of the test that the school required did not figure into the student's final averages, because I refused to grade that section of the test. So the lesson here is sometimes, it takes compliance to pull the wool over someone's eyes.

Each year, I put obviously false answers on the test. This year again, it was no surprise to see that my students had selected my friends as former presidents, supreme court justices and one child told me that the song No Scrubs by TLC is our National Anthem. If the student can rationalize and argue the answer, I'll give them credit.

The crazy crack head, bald headed, frothing at the mouth AP is back to her normative fire in her ass routine. She recently yelled at me for allegedly telling a security guard that she had done nothing about a child being in the hallway. What I told the security guard was that the child's action's had not been remedied. When the little runt showed up at my door, I bullshitted and placated her diminutive mind by telling her, 'On the contrary,' you had taken very strong action, even though she really had not. However, it was another case of miscommunication. She is so abrasive that when she comes on the morning announcements the kids cringe and tell me they wish she would shut it.

It feels good to vent.
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Monday January 24, 2000
It wouldn't be a perfect Monday unless I had an early morning encounter with the Super Freak herself, but sure enough, she showed up at my door, looking like something the cat pissed on, bit on the ear, and then drug in. Her mere presence made me have that vomit taste in my mouth from the early morning everything bagel with cream cheese and decaf coffee experience. She comes to my classroom and calls me outside to ask me why a student was in my class the other day after she had suspended that student for a day, two days prior. I wasn't sure I understood her question, so I asked her, didn't she have to have a conference with the parent prior to readmission? I specifically referred to the suspension notice which stated, 'Parent must meet with AP prior to coming back to school.' Naturally, as always, she avoided any responsibility and insisted that the conference must take place with me. So my response was, 'Well, why did you indicate that the conference must be with you?' I guess she must think I am a member of the psychic friends network and can read her puny mind, but nevertheless, she HAD to have an encounter with me. I'm thinking that nobody really likes this bitch and that maybe it would be best for the school if she just admitted she needs help wiping her ass when she shits, but then again, her shit doesn't stink.

I must remember that it is the children that lighten up my day. There were so many students who failed my test that it is kind of hard to believe that I gave them all of the questions and answers the day prior to the exam. Kids are being extremely lax about following the rules at this stage in the year - often showing up late to class, not turning in any work, and sticking up their middle fingers during class saying 'fuck you' on a regular basis. Yes, the children are the light of the classroom when they destroy the books, throw trash over the balcony, write on desks and walls things like, 'bicth' - I mean, they can't even spell the word BITCH. These are the same kids who write 'I do not no' instead of writing, 'I do not KNOW.'
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Wednesday, January 26, 2000
The morning started off with a wonderful event - parent teacher conferences. Usually, parents show up just to get their Welfare forms signed so they can get their food stamps for the month. Parents rarely take a real interest in what you are saying unless you hold the form in front of them as you are talking. One parent came in this morning and the dialogue went something like this:
"I'm here about my son Marvin. He keeps on telling his teachers that I am dead. He is so stupid."
'Why is he doing that?,' I asked
"Because he is retarded!"
Hmmmm. At this point I refer the woman to the counselor downstairs because I really can't help her.

The next part of the day went well with children ripping up only a few textbooks and taking a real interest in a picture of a police officer frisking a suspect from behind. The inference was plain; they wanted to know if the cop was fucking the guy in the ass. During the reading of a fairly easy passage in which one student struggled, the student was made fun of by the other students. The student stood up at one point a threw a backpack loaded with candy at another student and said, 'YOUR MAMA CAN'T READ, BITCH,' and sat back down as if nothing happened. Several students came by my door only to peek in the room to look at the clock to determine precisely how long they had been out of class. However, it was mostly a routine day, with the exception of one thing - Midterm grades.

I spent a lot of time averaging and curving the grades to benefit the students. You only needed a 41 average to have a 'D' in my class, so you would expect to have a lot of kids pass. This is not the case at Shitsville, where learning comes after finding your local crack source. Of course there is always the child who will bitch about their grade even if they know damn well that they haven't done shit all year. Only one more day left until a teacher workday, and I just cant fucking wait. Only 18 more weeks of school left.
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Friday, January 28, 2000
Today is a teacher's workday and I had earned a free day off, so I decided to take it today. Workdays are pretty boring anyway with lots of sitting around and reading the paper. Rarely is it a day in which quality work gets done, unless you are really behind on grading papers. Some teachers that I know just throw away papers that they don't want to grade.

My kids have been working in small groups over the last few days and it is interesting to see how some people are so ready to let me know that their group members aren't doing anything but gossiping. However, the kids really enjoy working in groups and I think that I will let them do this for a while because the groups pretty much run themselves.

I can't believe that the school year is halfway over. This year has been pretty aggravating in so many ways. The administration has been just awful. When I spoke recently to the union representative, she told me that this administration really does need to be replaced because she had heard so many unbelievable stories about it.

Either way, I'm hoping that the rest of the year goes by quickly and without incident, but somehow, I know that that is just wishful thinking.

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